Monday, September 21, 2009

A New Hampshire Wedding

In two weeks, my best friend from high school is going to be married. I still can't believe she invited me to the wedding. Although we were really close in high school, we haven't been what I would call friends since then.

I wrestled with myself about whether I should go to this wedding. I wanted to understand her motives for inviting me. I had decided against it until I read (in a blog) that the whole wedding involves around 50 people... a VERY intimate wedding. How could I NOT go? It must mean something to her for me to go if she invited so few people.

The whole thing makes me extremely anxious. First off, I'm not a wedding person. I hate social gatherings of any sort. Secondly, I won't know anyone there aside from her, her mother, her brother, and the friend that replaced me when she went to college (he doesn't like me). I'm leaving my family behind for three days and traveling to New England alone. The last time I traveled alone was when I was a senior in high school. That was nearly ten years ago.

I'm hoping this wedding will be nice and I get along with her new friends. They seem really different from me. Borderline hipster. I'm not hip. I don't do witty banter. I do sarcasm and snark. I'm scared they won't get me and I'll end up being alone the whole day. I just have to continually remind myself that it isn't about me. This whole weekend is about making Carey happy at all costs.

While I'm in the area, I am going to see my family in Boston. I'm really excited about that. This time will be all about reconnection. Reconnection to my long lost friend and reconnection to my forgotten family members. It's going to be good. I just have to trust that.

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